Thanksgiving may be the Hallmark-inflicted time of the year to give thanks, but with our bank accounts depleted, job security in peril, and the threat of imminent depression — both financial and emotional! –upon us, gratitude may be the last thing on our minds.

Don’t let the forced holiday family time be an added burden.  Look at it this way: it’s stressful, but at least it’s consistently stressful. No matter what’s going on in the world, you can always depend on holiday time with family to be difficult!  Visitors feel out of their element, reunions with family members remind us of unresolved issues, group meal preparation brings out the control freak in the host, and we overeat and drink to compensate for all of the feelings incited by the above -– just to name a few of the potentially flammable situations at hand.

At risk of sounding too Pollyanna, I propose that we not only try to make the most of the inevitable, but make the best of it. After all, the holidays are going to happen, and the stress is going to happen – and it’s a whole lot easier to manage something you can predict (unlike, say, the financial markets!)

Here are a few things to try:

1)   Say it like you mean it. Say “thank you” as much as possible, even if you don’t feel grateful, even if you resent having to say it, even if it’s the last thing you want to do. The positive vibe you give off and the repetition of such a selfless phrase will transform your interactions with everyone and make you feel great about yourself.

2)   Make friends with your family. Pretend that you’ve never met your annoying brother-in-law before and get to know him. Ask your father to tell you about his childhood– again. Assure your mother that you’ll take her nagging suggestion under consideration (and act like you will.) If you treat your family members with the respect and objective interest you would a new friend – tabling, rather than lingering upon, your history for a brief moment – you will actually learn things you didn’t know, gain respect for and from these people, and open up a new side of your relationships with them. Who knows? You might even avert a stressful confrontation.

3)   “Lean in.” In The Psychology of Achievement, Brian Tracy puts forth that any topic or person, no matter how seemingly boring or uninteresting, will miraculously become the opposite, if you simply lean in and pay attention to it/him/her for 5 minutes straight. Put this to the test – particularly when you’re seated to Old Man Clunker at the turkey table. It works!

4)   Walk in her stilettos. Take a moment outside of your own stress to empathize with your fellow family members’ version of it. You may be irritated that you have to work around your sister’s schedule, but she may be frustrated that she has to juggle her regular home life with entertaining you. Your brother may be worried about his next paycheck. Your grandmother may not be feeling well. The aforementioned annoying brother-in-law may be missing his own family. Keeping these possibilities in mind – and all the things you don’t know about – will help you be empathetic instead of judgmental when things get heightened or conflictual.

5)   Take a break. Family + holidays + close quarters = a perfect storm. Divert that storm by breaking up the 24/7 togetherness. Take a walk. Explore the neighborhood. Just step out of the room, if that’s as far as you can get. And encourage others to do the same. Being around anyone  – especially your family – for too long, without pausing for a moment to yourself, to reflect or to decompress, can be hazardous to your relationships. Don’t worry: you won’t miss anything, and you’ll all be better off for it.

Finally, share these suggestions with your family members in advance of your time together. Actively acknowledging that every family – no matter how loving and perfect! -  encounters issues during the holidays could actually diffuse the stress before it starts.

Oh, and THANK YOU very much for reading this! I am GRATEFUL for your interest! I APPRECIATE your attention.

No matter your personal politics, this is going to be the most important election of your lifetime. Political HIVING, as it turns out, is something you can do to be more involved and have fun - around the debates, the get-out-the-vote efforts, and even in more formal “conversations” you might create around politics:

1) Throw a debate-watching party with friends, and print up BINGO cards with your favorite McCain phrases (”My friends”) or debate tactics (Obama shaking his head)  — and tack on a drinking game to make it more fun!

2) Get a group together and go canvass for your favorite candidate in a nearby swing state, like Nevada.

3) Or throw together a round table to talk about the issues most important to you.

All these politically-oriented things are HIVING, too — they are inventive get-togethers that help you connect with others AND give back. Get it?

But, most of all, don’t forget to register to vote! The California deadline is October 20!

“Workin’ nine to five, what a way to make a living;
barely getting by,it’s all taking and no giving.
They just use your mind, and they never give you
credit;
it’s enough to drive you crazy, if you let it!”

I don’t know about you, but today feels a lot more like Hump Day than Tuesday. And ever since I saw that great 1980 movie, “Nine to Five,” I knew (even at 10 years old!) that if I had to live my life in that boring, daily grind, women-objectifying world, I would end up hog-tying my boss and roasting him on a pit, just like Doralee.

So instead, I hive. And work as a freelance writer — making my own schedule and being my own boss.

Today feels like Hump Day, because I’m busy with a never-ending writing assignment and suffering a bit of ADD…because I can’t stop thinking about my evening plans to see the musical version of “Nine to Five” at the Ahmanson Theater! Dolly wrote the score, Allison Janney plays Lily Tomlin, and I’m attending with a fun group of friends who have been quoting the show all week long in rapid-fire emails. I can’t remember all those quotes, so in an effort to participate in theme, I downloaded the theme song and made a rockin’ ring tone out of it.

I’ll report back with my review - but know this: making a group purchase at the Ahmanson - and at every theater in the Center Theater Group - is a no brainer. So get a group together, make your reservations today, and hive/”Nine to Five” it!

I saw a fun play last night called “R.R.R.E.D.: The Redhead Musical Manifesto,” which was LA Weekly’s Pick of the Week, and created by a very talented singer/songwriter, Katie Thompson, who is a friend of my friend Steve Bauerfeind. Among other high points of the experience (including parts of the show, a celebrity sighting of Ryan Gosling, and a terrific catch-up with Steve) was the show’s intermission concession stand, which hand-picked items in the same “celebration of all things red”-theme of the show, with Big Red gum, and “Annie” DVDs, Skittles, Two Buck Chuck, and even Big Red soda - which I haven’t seen since Big D days.

I may have to copy the color theme for an upcoming party (Maybe I’ll have a PURPLE PARTY or a BLUE BASH? Green and Black & White are sooo last year.) — with the addition of customized M&Ms (so easy to do if you have even 2 days advance thought!) and a matching colored cocktail (you can find cocktail recipes stored this way from one brand here.)

(Red) Food for thought…

Curiosity can sometimes lead to compulsion, but that doesn’t stop me from being on the 24/7 lookout for cool new stuff to do, buy, and experience. I believe that maintaining a healthy interest in what’s around you is part and parcel of the hiving lifestyle, because who knows when you may come across the next cool venue for a party, your weekend date plan, that conversation-starting lapel pin…I could go on.  I do love the hunt.

Of course, it helps when you’re actually hunting with a purpose – which, in yesterday’s case, was the next hiving ::party with a purpose.  Michelle and I checked out the new rooftop of the Thompson Hotel in Beverly Hills, with the hope of coming up with a sexy, clever party idea to match our surroundings. Whether or not we stage something there, you should know about it for your own hiving plans – whether a sushi sampling dinner with a group of friends delivered from Bond St downstairs, or a cocktail klatch on a Wednesday night (when they reportedly have a new promoter on board), I highly recommend.

Today, my curious eye strayed from LA Mill in Silverlake, where I was having a meeting, to the windows of Yolk, a brilliant design store next door, so I just had to have a look afterwards. I loved these little silicone stem markers called Vinotagz – you can write on them and attach them to guest’s wine glasses so everyone knows whose is whose. AND afterwards they can be used as napkin rings. AND the nifty box it comes in fits over the top of a wine bottle to label it as a gift. That’s a lot of reuse for a mere $12.50. Love it.

Sometimes the hunt leads to just a straight up purchase without a purpose. While it may end up languishing in my gift closet, but this rocker wallet that says, “I’m sick of being an artist. I want to be a pop star” was too hysterical to pass up.

I Want to Be a Pop Star

That sentiment seems so applicable to life, really. Maybe I’ll become a pop star? Maybe I’ll keep the wallet myself.

Nothing like a bountiful hunt.